Writing that Changes

is writing that clears the path to doing

It may seem strange to kick off a publication with 6,000 words about what it isn’t. Not a list of dating instructions, not a compilation of Science™ factoids, not a reassurance that you’re okay as you are. What I am aiming for is writing that changes you: how you see dating and relationships, how you approach them, how you understand yourself and others. For this change to happen in you, you should have the right expectations and the right mindset.

Instructions, Science™, and validation aren’t terrible in themselves. But they put you in a mindset of dependence on authority. They create the expectation that gurus will instruct your personal life, that experts will inform it, that prestigious arbiters will put a societal stamp of approval on it. This pushes against self-directed change.

The core tenet of Second Person is that meaningful change in your romantic life must be self-directed. In large part, because lack of self-direction is the main impediment to most people’s dating. The goal of this first chapter, which concludes with this post, is to give you different expectations and a different mindset.

Changing people with words is very hard. I don’t presume I would do so with all but a minority of my readers, and that’s ok. I read stuff to be entertained and informed, and Second Person will be as entertaining and informative as I can make it.

But I have also read a handful of texts that transformed me. Some that hit me like a lightning bolt and some that nudged me to an ever-so-slightly diverging path so that I only noticed the impact years later. I know that it can be done.

I will sketch out my theory of how writing can change people. You may find it unconvincing or incomplete, but at least you’ll know what my intentions are for this journey I invite you on. If you signed up to Second Person for the long haul hoping for more than edutainment, this will be your guide.